Monday, February 26, 2018

A Little Late for Post-Partum Depression


Hello, Little One.

Today, Mommy Nanay feels a little weird. I cried after watching a funny movie rerun on TV. I don't feel like eating too much rice, but I would love to munch on crackers. I want ice cream.

Remember, I promised I will tell you how it felt when I had you? I think today is the right time to blog about it.

You see, I had Polycystic Ovary Syndrome. A lot of women went through the same ordeal, but mine was a little different because the OB-GYN told me that I would find it difficult to bear a child. You pretty sure know that isn't true.

Anyway, your Dad and I didn't stop hoping. We followed the doctor's advice. We had you after two years of being husband and wife.

Of course, you don't want to know how we did it. But I really didn't think you're already in the oven. I was helping in taking care of your Super Lola Caring when she was hospitalized after an attack. 

I'd visit her at the hospital in Quezon City after work in Taguig. I'd go home in Laguna to pick up fresh clothes once a week. 

This is your Super Lola Caring, Papa Lolo's mother

Apparently, Super Lola Caring wished for me to have a baby. I told her na sana magdilang-anghel siya. And an angel she is indeed.

One January afternoon, your Lola Cecilia and Tita Mama Jhong forced me to buy a pregnancy test kit to check. At first, I didn't want to give in because the pain of getting negative results every time stung hard. But curiosity won.

When I saw two solid stripes on the kit. I panicked and cried. I asked my your Lola Cecilia what it meant. After the confirmation, I called your Daddy Tatay.

We were both in tears. I heard his workmates shouting and clapping in the background. It was one of the best days of our lives.

Wala akong pinaglihian, anak. Your Titos and Titas at my workplace just noticed that I loved eating popcorn prior to knowing that you're already inside my tummy.

Your Tita Mau, Me, and Your Tita Grace. They kept me sane, all of them friends I have.
I was supposed to call you Piglet. Your Tita Grace gave you the nickname Popcorn. Thank her.

The first three months were really easy for me. I didn't experience morning sickness. I just loved eating popcorn and fruits.

The second trimester onwards became a real struggle. I had to ask for an indefinite leave at work because my cervix was opening. I had an unbelievably high blood pressure. I was scared because I experienced spotting twice.

My love, it was during those days that I cried every single night. I was scared of losing you. 

After a couple of months, your Daddy Tatay decided that we stay with him in Vigan City until you pop out. It was critical because I wasn't allowed to sit down for a long time. 

It was the longest 12 hours of my life. I occupied three seats inside the van we rented. Your Papa Lolo was cautious even with the littlest bumps on the road.

Your Daddy Tatay was very glad to see us then. He prepared everything until you were delivered. My labor deserves a different blog, though so I will make you bitin muna

What does it have to do with the title, really? Nothing. That's how I feel now, I guess. I think about so many things that I've almost forgotten that you are one of the many prayers God answered. 

It must be the hormones, anak. I know you are tired from school. Bibitinin na talaga kita ulit.

Know that Daddy Tatay and I love you very much, Popcorn.

xoxo,

Mommy Nanay

P.S. Matagal pa siguro yung susunod na blog pero sisiguraduhin ko na marami na ito kapag marunong ka na magbasa.

Thursday, September 21, 2017

Happy 2nd Birthday, My Little Popcorn!






Nothing fancy or grandiose, sweetheart. I just want you to know that I am very proud to be your mother. You are growing up to be a lovely young lady I ever wish you to become.

Popcorn with that "I'm-up-to-no-good" laughter

Okay, okay, so you just turned two. You always pick on me. You pull my hair when I do not listen to you. You pinch my cheek when YouTube chooses to put an ad on a supposedly looped video. 

I have never thought that life with you will be THIS challenging... and fun. Thank you for giving me the experience of a lifetime. 

I love everything about you. I love you.

xoxo,

Mommy Phoebe

P.S.

Alright, that Hello Kitty trolley is yours. But you have to wait until Saturday. Please understand.




Wednesday, September 6, 2017

Popcorn Threw a Fit and I Ended Up Crying





Sorry, I was really busy these past few days (excuses). I had to de-stress myself by sharing my experience this afternoon with my unica hija.

This little girl is in that kulit phase and I just can't help but wonder. When she was an infant, I did not have any midnight issues with her; she was a quiet little babe who loved to cuddle with Papapa and Mamama. But then again, life.

Popcorn, before she decided to go Hulk against Mommy

So I was trying to work while taking care of her this afternoon, and for some strange reason, she chose to throw a fit. She wanted me to do something that I really could not pick up. She'd usher me to the kitchen but she would not tell me what she wanted. She already knows a few words like milk, water, eat... so it was really frustrating on my part to be clueless about what she really wanted that time.

I hugged her, I even cuddled with her and scratched her tummy (which she really loves more than she loves me) but to no avail. I felt like my world was crumbling down - I had a 5 o'clock deadline for three articles and it's already 4:30. I needed to submit two more. But Popcorn cried as if social workers would need to question my parenting skills. And then it happened.

I cried. Not just teleserye cry, it was more of a hopeless cry for help. Popcorn ended up consoling me while we drowned ourselves with salty tears.

I could have Googled my reaction to the situation, but the heck, my daughter almost called Bantay Bata! It felt like I have failed my daughter, like my world shattered into pieces. Yeah, it was more of a Magpakailanman or MMK moment. But here are the things I have learned from this experience:





1. Never trust a toddler's smile. Bribery, emotional blackmail, and double-crossing could be behind that grin with twinkling eyes. 
2. If she could not communicate, let her do her thing. But if she continues to pull your hair because you are not cooperating, maybe she pooped.
3. Practice grown-up talk. Coochie coochie coo would lead you NOWHERE.
4. Create a playlist for her to distract her from planning a coup. I can tolerate Baby Shark and Mr. Golden Sun on loop, so I think I will use that next time.
5. Never let her get access to gadgets. Ever. She might know how to speed dial Daddy and alert SWAT for defense.

Popcorn, I will give you an access to this when you grow up. I hope your daughter gives you the same headache. Lol!

xoxo,

Mommy Phoebe

P.S.

I used to be a monster, too. I love you.




Thursday, July 27, 2017

Still Can't Believe I'm a Mom Now





Man! I still can't believe I'm a mom now. 

Honestly, I don't know what to write yet, but I guess this is a good introductory blog for you. I am just too giddy now to collect my thoughts. But I promise to give you all the throwback stuff until I catch up with the new memories. Welcome!☺

I will do my best to share to you my new life since the day my husband and I learned that we were pregnant. I would like to spare you the details on how we came up with a baby; let's keep this wholesome, shall we? 



Meet Popcorn. She is the reason I chose to write again. I want her to read everything that I will write here when she grows up. I feel the need to share my little miracle to everyone. I want you to listen to my story.

She's turning two in September. And I still can't believe my fate.

Good night!

xoxo,

Mommy Phoebe

P.S. Just let me collect all the memories and I promise you will enjoy following my story.